1 ✻ I.... don't want a lot for Christmas [Action/Text]

[weaponry]

[ A - Action. Morning. Tenten, Ino and Riku's apartment. ]

[ And, so it's Christmas. After a valiant struggle with elves, their ridiculous requests and their oddly judgmental and hypocritical methods, Tenten is left with a single gift. She wasn't sure if she was naughty or nice, because she kinda broke even with them or compromised, but, she did get a gift. She hastily unwrapped it, hoping it'd be a brand new swiss army weapon.

She did not get the swiss army weapon. Her mouth drops the floor quicker than a bunch of kids after an ice cream truck. She shrieks. In her hands is one, giant portrait of Guy-sensei, in really tight green spandex. He mimics a famous pose, and there's a similar message adorned on the picture. However, it states "I WANT YOU.....TO BE MORE YOUTHFUL". She stares at it in horror. Had she not been nice enough? Did her previous aids of babysitting children during the draft go unnoticed? All of these questions where swirling around her head as she took a breath out and accepted her fate as naughty. ]

[ B - Action. Morning. Community housing one, floor four's hallway ]

[ Well, residents (or passer-bys) of complex 1, four floor apartment can see the picture of Uncle Sam Guy-sensei in skin strangling green spandex with the command that "I WANT YOU.....TO BE MORE YOUTHFUL" hung on the end of the hall, right above the entrance to the kitchen. His eyes seem to follow around the looker, making for quite an unsettling portrait. Yeah. Tenten can be seen staring at it from her door, her mouth still agape in horror. ]

[ C - Action. Morning - Later Afternoon. Library. ]

[ Maybe there was a mistake in the system. There had to be a mistake, right? Tenten, dawned in her Christmas Outfit, which is actually the only article of clothing she has available, per the elf's ridiculous request, marches her way to the library. You're free to encounter her on the way there, but it looks like she's on a mission as she madly mutters about tight green spandex and youthfulness.

You can catch Tenten at the library reading an army of books about Santa. She seems to have multiple notes on a nearby piece of paper. Some of which read the obviously helpful, "WEARS RED SUIT", "HEAVY SET AND JOLLY", "HAS DISEASED REINDEER?", "HAS CONNECTIONS TO COAL", and, "ELVES? CREEPY, AND SIMILAR LOOKING BY GENETICS?" and other types of brief, unintentionally hilarious, notes. A couple of times, she gazes to her notes and talks about how something just doesn't make sense, but, for the most part, she's pretty enveloped in her studies about the jolly old man. ]

[ D - Text. Evening. ]

Question, how can Santa make it down a chimney if he obviously can't fit down there, given numerous depictions? How about homes that don't have chimneys? Do the elves take into a general account of your behavior, or just your behavior during Christmas time?

[ Someone is taking this way too seriously. ]

Comments

[weaponry]

Well, if he smells like he smoked then that means he smokes. You just don't smell like smoke if you don't smoke. [ Unless Santa was close associates with someone that smoked, but she's not going to rain on everyone's parade. ] But good for him for trying to quit.

Don't worry about it. I'm mostly judging his rewards for naughty and nice and his system to determine it. I mean, putting up with these elves is something else. You know, I have no clothes left besides Santa themed outfits? Their idea, and their execution! [ grumble grumble grinch grinch. ]

[ilyana]

What if Mrs. Claus smokes?

Oh. I didn't realize that your elf was so hard on you. Mine has been pretty nice so far. Apart for that one time when he was telling me not to eat so much, as that had been rather rude of him.

[weaponry]

Why would Mrs. Claus smoke? She's not under any pressure, and, she's reported to be even nicer than Santa Claus, primarily because she doesn't have much that stresses her out.

[ She looks almost irked at first. Her statement makes it clear that it's more at Ilyana's luck than what she says. ] Oh, boy, do I envy you for that. Mine got rid of all of my clothes without asking and replaced them with Santa-themed miniskirts and it's winter! [ She's not happy about that. ]

Is it safe to assume they switched to video somewhere along the line here?

[ilyana]

Maybe that's why she's always so nice and unstressed? They do say smoking helps people relax. If you think about it, she does have to live with Santa and his elves, it's probably not that stress free given everything that must be arranged.

[She blinks in surprise that Tenten is so upset by this.]

Yes? ... And?

[She already was wearing mini-skirts in winter so... if her elf did it, it wouldn't exactly be much... different.]

I mean... I suppose if you really liked your clothes though... that could be a little annoying...

I meant to say that, yes.

[weaponry]

Yeah, but they seem to have a nice system in place. There are other ways she can just relax. After all, it's the north pole and they can build anything she wants. What if she just had a hot tub or something instead?

[ ..... ]

Well, I don't like wearing skimpy santa outfits ever, especially during the winter.

1/2

[ilyana]

[Well now she has the decency to look at least a little embarrassed.]

Th-they're not that skimpy!

2/2

[ilyana]

But... yes... I'm... sorry that your elf has done that to you...

[She's just going to chock it up to she really doesn't like Santa at this point, and really, even she can't truly fault her for that. Nobody should force you to wear anything your uncomfortable with.]

[weaponry]

I guess it's not Santa's fault but if I get the same elf next year or discover he's still working for Santa, boy am I going to be so angry.

[ilyana]

Well... that seems reasonable enough... although I think the elves were rather new to Luceti given that there have been some people who have been here for years.

[weaponry]

They are. They weren't here last year. So, the recent addition has me puzzled, and slightly annoyed.

[ilyana]

I wonder... perhaps the blame falls not with Santa for the elves, but with the Malnosso...

[weaponry]

That would make sense. It seems just like them to take a holiday and play it out to take advantage of us!