1 ✻ I.... don't want a lot for Christmas [Action/Text]

[weaponry]

[ A - Action. Morning. Tenten, Ino and Riku's apartment. ]

[ And, so it's Christmas. After a valiant struggle with elves, their ridiculous requests and their oddly judgmental and hypocritical methods, Tenten is left with a single gift. She wasn't sure if she was naughty or nice, because she kinda broke even with them or compromised, but, she did get a gift. She hastily unwrapped it, hoping it'd be a brand new swiss army weapon.

She did not get the swiss army weapon. Her mouth drops the floor quicker than a bunch of kids after an ice cream truck. She shrieks. In her hands is one, giant portrait of Guy-sensei, in really tight green spandex. He mimics a famous pose, and there's a similar message adorned on the picture. However, it states "I WANT YOU.....TO BE MORE YOUTHFUL". She stares at it in horror. Had she not been nice enough? Did her previous aids of babysitting children during the draft go unnoticed? All of these questions where swirling around her head as she took a breath out and accepted her fate as naughty. ]

[ B - Action. Morning. Community housing one, floor four's hallway ]

[ Well, residents (or passer-bys) of complex 1, four floor apartment can see the picture of Uncle Sam Guy-sensei in skin strangling green spandex with the command that "I WANT YOU.....TO BE MORE YOUTHFUL" hung on the end of the hall, right above the entrance to the kitchen. His eyes seem to follow around the looker, making for quite an unsettling portrait. Yeah. Tenten can be seen staring at it from her door, her mouth still agape in horror. ]

[ C - Action. Morning - Later Afternoon. Library. ]

[ Maybe there was a mistake in the system. There had to be a mistake, right? Tenten, dawned in her Christmas Outfit, which is actually the only article of clothing she has available, per the elf's ridiculous request, marches her way to the library. You're free to encounter her on the way there, but it looks like she's on a mission as she madly mutters about tight green spandex and youthfulness.

You can catch Tenten at the library reading an army of books about Santa. She seems to have multiple notes on a nearby piece of paper. Some of which read the obviously helpful, "WEARS RED SUIT", "HEAVY SET AND JOLLY", "HAS DISEASED REINDEER?", "HAS CONNECTIONS TO COAL", and, "ELVES? CREEPY, AND SIMILAR LOOKING BY GENETICS?" and other types of brief, unintentionally hilarious, notes. A couple of times, she gazes to her notes and talks about how something just doesn't make sense, but, for the most part, she's pretty enveloped in her studies about the jolly old man. ]

[ D - Text. Evening. ]

Question, how can Santa make it down a chimney if he obviously can't fit down there, given numerous depictions? How about homes that don't have chimneys? Do the elves take into a general account of your behavior, or just your behavior during Christmas time?

[ Someone is taking this way too seriously. ]

Comments

[weaponry]

Yeah. We all know Team 7 won't ever be reunited in the way that'll probably get them a shiny new, or old I should say, sensei, but there's some resemblance of a pattern.

[endgames]

[If Team 7 is reunited at all, he sincerely doubts they need more then all of their members.]

I've stopped trying to predict it.

[weaponry]

I guess that's a way to save yourself from about twenty daily headaches. [ Ha...ha... oh luceti, you and your vague predictability. ]

[endgames]

Heh. And then some.

[weaponry]

Just how do you stand being in the unknown? I know it drives me crazy, yet you're always so collected about it. Don't genius types hate this kinda stuff?

[endgames]

Knowing everything? I can't think why anyone would want that if they really knew what it's like.

[Not that he does, obviously, but he's imagined it. He frowns, and thinks to himself. About what the last month has been like for him personally, trying to predict every move Hidan would make.]

Sometimes it bothers me... but most often I remember it's not so great and just wanna sleep instead.

Sorry for the brief delay! I just had my wisdom teeth extracted!

[weaponry]

I guess not everything but things that are important but are needlessly shrouded in mystery!

[ .....He wants to sleep instead? SIGH... She should have known!! ]

That's it...? You just want to sleep instead of trying to figure out the great mysteries of Luceti? Well, I guess that works considering the opportunities rarely present themselves... [ Even though she does kinda look down on how idle Shikamaru is in general, she wouldn't exactly force him to become more active. She's knows how that feels. ]

No prob!

[endgames]

[Trust everyone to miss his point. He narrows his eyes, annoyed, but doesn't contradict that thought.]

In life, nothing good comes out of hurrying. It's about taking advantage of opportunities when they present themselves.

[weaponry]

True. There are some things where it's a lot better to take your time with. I've almost forgotten how it feels to be able to express that opinion without it getting routinely shut down. [ Her hyperactive goofy teammates! ]

[endgames]

Ha. It really is unfortunate for you. Taking it slow is a concept not even Neji can grasp.

[weaponry]

Neji isn't as gung-ho as Lee and Guy-sensei, but you do have a point. Once he sets his sights on something, there's no pacing him.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure I'm going to die early from my lungs giving out. [ Her life is always tragic. ]

[endgames]

[Snerks.] Time's it pays to have had Asuma. He pushed us, but he usually had to bribe us first.

[weaponry]

[ Suddenly, Shikamaru, everything will go super chibi. The background will go full rainbow as various weapons are displayed and rotated in the background. Some of them look real, like a sai or a tonfa or a staff. Others look absolutely ridiculous, like some sort of miniature catapult, a staff with two bladed fans on each end, etc. Tenten's eyes light up with stars as she thinks of the possibilities. ]

Just imagine how expansive and unique my weapon collection would be! They'd be so well polished and he'd totally would remember just which ones I didn't have! [ You might want to break her fantasy Shikamaru because this is pretty weird. ]

[endgames]

Aren't those considerably more expensive than all you can eat barbecue??

[weaponry]

You mean Asuma-sensei isn't made of money? [ Her world is kinda crashing down on her right now. The profiles of weapons floating along in the background suddenly halt and crash. Back to square A in your ridiculous fantasies, Tenten. ]

[endgames]

[PFFT-HAHA. Ignore the strangled laughter.] Asuma was a walking pile of debt by the time Chouji was done with him.

[weaponry]

What?! Just how much can one person eat?! [ Oh come on! How could Choji possibly require enough food that it made Asuma broke?! Well, actually, thinking about how large he was during the war, she guesses it makes sense, but she's not going to correct her incredulous remark. ]

[endgames]

He's an Akimichi, Tenten. Their armor literally bears the insignia for food.

[weaponry]

I know! But I didn't expect they'd eat to the extent where they'd bankrupt their sensei! How do they even afford their food at home?! [ Is their mom a ninja bankrobber?! ]

[endgames]

They are a Noble Clan, like the Hyuuga.

[weaponry]

Yeah, but the Hyuga are amongst the Hidden Leaf's most prestigious and you think if one person can bankrupt a sensei, an entire clan of them would have to spend an unbelievable amount of money on food! [ She's in a state of denial, Shikamaru. Leave a message after the beep. ]

[endgames]

[After a moment, he'll chime in his last thought here, sounding characteristically unbothered.]

...yeah. That sounds about right.

[weaponry]

I'm not even sure what to say... [ Her voice trails off, clearly mystified by this whole thing. ] What an incredibly large kitchen they must have...