1 ✻ I.... don't want a lot for Christmas [Action/Text]

[weaponry]

[ A - Action. Morning. Tenten, Ino and Riku's apartment. ]

[ And, so it's Christmas. After a valiant struggle with elves, their ridiculous requests and their oddly judgmental and hypocritical methods, Tenten is left with a single gift. She wasn't sure if she was naughty or nice, because she kinda broke even with them or compromised, but, she did get a gift. She hastily unwrapped it, hoping it'd be a brand new swiss army weapon.

She did not get the swiss army weapon. Her mouth drops the floor quicker than a bunch of kids after an ice cream truck. She shrieks. In her hands is one, giant portrait of Guy-sensei, in really tight green spandex. He mimics a famous pose, and there's a similar message adorned on the picture. However, it states "I WANT YOU.....TO BE MORE YOUTHFUL". She stares at it in horror. Had she not been nice enough? Did her previous aids of babysitting children during the draft go unnoticed? All of these questions where swirling around her head as she took a breath out and accepted her fate as naughty. ]

[ B - Action. Morning. Community housing one, floor four's hallway ]

[ Well, residents (or passer-bys) of complex 1, four floor apartment can see the picture of Uncle Sam Guy-sensei in skin strangling green spandex with the command that "I WANT YOU.....TO BE MORE YOUTHFUL" hung on the end of the hall, right above the entrance to the kitchen. His eyes seem to follow around the looker, making for quite an unsettling portrait. Yeah. Tenten can be seen staring at it from her door, her mouth still agape in horror. ]

[ C - Action. Morning - Later Afternoon. Library. ]

[ Maybe there was a mistake in the system. There had to be a mistake, right? Tenten, dawned in her Christmas Outfit, which is actually the only article of clothing she has available, per the elf's ridiculous request, marches her way to the library. You're free to encounter her on the way there, but it looks like she's on a mission as she madly mutters about tight green spandex and youthfulness.

You can catch Tenten at the library reading an army of books about Santa. She seems to have multiple notes on a nearby piece of paper. Some of which read the obviously helpful, "WEARS RED SUIT", "HEAVY SET AND JOLLY", "HAS DISEASED REINDEER?", "HAS CONNECTIONS TO COAL", and, "ELVES? CREEPY, AND SIMILAR LOOKING BY GENETICS?" and other types of brief, unintentionally hilarious, notes. A couple of times, she gazes to her notes and talks about how something just doesn't make sense, but, for the most part, she's pretty enveloped in her studies about the jolly old man. ]

[ D - Text. Evening. ]

Question, how can Santa make it down a chimney if he obviously can't fit down there, given numerous depictions? How about homes that don't have chimneys? Do the elves take into a general account of your behavior, or just your behavior during Christmas time?

[ Someone is taking this way too seriously. ]

Comments

[screw_fate]

[The whole 'punching things to hell' thing is pretty normal for them anyway, given how Gai tends to express affection.]

I would not bet on anyone against your righteous fury. I was laughing at the thought of his terror in the face of you.

[weaponry]

[ They express their love through violence to better your body! ]

I actually got to see that once... [ It was a pretty satisfying moment, tbh. ]

[screw_fate]

[Obviously the best demonstrations of positive emotion!]

Is that so? I'd be interested to hear the context.

[weaponry]

He basically wasn't treating that cat that we all had to catch correctly, so I chewed him out over locking it in a closet. [ Beat. ] He was pretty quick to change his mind. [ And she does not regret her attitude at all. ]

[screw_fate]

[Not that Neji would entirely blame him...]

Then if he comes back I'll be sure not to take any cat-care advice from him.

[weaponry]

If he remembers Luceti at all, you can probably ask him. If he doesn't remember Luceti, then chances are he still needs to learn how to take care of a cat! [ Not that Tenten's advice is much better... ]

[screw_fate]

[At least she won't suggest locking the kitten in a closet?]

Hm. That is a point.

[And one that troubles him. To lose those memories, a part of oneself...]

[weaponry]

A troubling one, if any. It's hard to adjust to a person when they return again, mostly because there's so much they don't remember and then you feel obligated to help them through the memories they don't have. [ She sighs. ]

It's just so odd to see. I never expected to have someone forget about me, you know? [ in the ninja world, amnesia does not exist to Tenten! ]

[screw_fate]

Hn. Yes. That is... not really something I'm looking forward to encountering. [Fortunately, it hasn't happened yet with anyone he knows particularly well, so it hasn't had an impact on him yet.]

[weaponry]

[ At least Kishimoto has plenty of opportunities to remind himself about Tenten!!!!!!! ]

There are a lot of things people don't look forward to encountering here at Luceti. [ She pauses. ] It makes it all the more likely that you will encounter it. They know what makes us tick above all else.

[screw_fate]

[And yet never takes them.]

Hn. So the best way to survive this place seems to be to simply... let go. Accept everything as it happens, like a monk.

[Not entirely pleased with this idea, no sir.]

[weaponry]

The best way to survive this place is accept that you have no power over the situation currently. You shouldn't just lie down and let them walk all over you, because if you do that then things will get worse. At least we're not constantly swarmed by shifts, because you know they could do that if we weren't so disgruntled by them. [ Grumble Grumble Grumble. ]