1 ✻ I.... don't want a lot for Christmas [Action/Text]

[weaponry]

[ A - Action. Morning. Tenten, Ino and Riku's apartment. ]

[ And, so it's Christmas. After a valiant struggle with elves, their ridiculous requests and their oddly judgmental and hypocritical methods, Tenten is left with a single gift. She wasn't sure if she was naughty or nice, because she kinda broke even with them or compromised, but, she did get a gift. She hastily unwrapped it, hoping it'd be a brand new swiss army weapon.

She did not get the swiss army weapon. Her mouth drops the floor quicker than a bunch of kids after an ice cream truck. She shrieks. In her hands is one, giant portrait of Guy-sensei, in really tight green spandex. He mimics a famous pose, and there's a similar message adorned on the picture. However, it states "I WANT YOU.....TO BE MORE YOUTHFUL". She stares at it in horror. Had she not been nice enough? Did her previous aids of babysitting children during the draft go unnoticed? All of these questions where swirling around her head as she took a breath out and accepted her fate as naughty. ]

[ B - Action. Morning. Community housing one, floor four's hallway ]

[ Well, residents (or passer-bys) of complex 1, four floor apartment can see the picture of Uncle Sam Guy-sensei in skin strangling green spandex with the command that "I WANT YOU.....TO BE MORE YOUTHFUL" hung on the end of the hall, right above the entrance to the kitchen. His eyes seem to follow around the looker, making for quite an unsettling portrait. Yeah. Tenten can be seen staring at it from her door, her mouth still agape in horror. ]

[ C - Action. Morning - Later Afternoon. Library. ]

[ Maybe there was a mistake in the system. There had to be a mistake, right? Tenten, dawned in her Christmas Outfit, which is actually the only article of clothing she has available, per the elf's ridiculous request, marches her way to the library. You're free to encounter her on the way there, but it looks like she's on a mission as she madly mutters about tight green spandex and youthfulness.

You can catch Tenten at the library reading an army of books about Santa. She seems to have multiple notes on a nearby piece of paper. Some of which read the obviously helpful, "WEARS RED SUIT", "HEAVY SET AND JOLLY", "HAS DISEASED REINDEER?", "HAS CONNECTIONS TO COAL", and, "ELVES? CREEPY, AND SIMILAR LOOKING BY GENETICS?" and other types of brief, unintentionally hilarious, notes. A couple of times, she gazes to her notes and talks about how something just doesn't make sense, but, for the most part, she's pretty enveloped in her studies about the jolly old man. ]

[ D - Text. Evening. ]

Question, how can Santa make it down a chimney if he obviously can't fit down there, given numerous depictions? How about homes that don't have chimneys? Do the elves take into a general account of your behavior, or just your behavior during Christmas time?

[ Someone is taking this way too seriously. ]

Comments

[weaponry]

I think I'll wait for the next Malnosso-created shift to make that happen.

And I agree! He should at least include a note explaining this reasoning and just exactly how nice and how naughty we are!

[screw_fate]

I agree. Some sort of indication of the standards for our behavior...

I don't even know where I rated. My gift was a kitten.

[weaponry]

A kitten?! [ She turns to him and gives him a sharp look. ] Well, Neji! You were obviously good! Santa wouldn't hand out living things to naughty people, unless he was naughty himself... [ Okay. Now she's on a conspiracy theory. Better stop her. ]

[screw_fate]

I do find him extremely questionable. [Neji is not the one to go to if you want to be assured of Santa's goodness.] Watching people while they sleep...

[weaponry]

He does have some rather weird qualifications of what makes people nice. These elves weren't here last year, so I wonder if he overhauled his infrastructure... [ She just sighs. ]

[screw_fate]

Perhaps. Or he varies his methods in order to avoid predictability.

[It makes good strategic sense to him.]

Still, I'm not entirely certain what I ought to do with it.

[weaponry]

I don't think that's it, Neji. The rumors and legends about him are old as ever. Or else it wouldn't be standard for the bad children to get coal. Besides, this holiday is meant to appeal to children. I can't imagine how stressful it'd be for them to change from year to year.

I say you should keep it! A pet is just something you need! There has to be something to divert that squishy soft interior towards. [ yes neji she did just accuse you of being a tsundere. ]

[screw_fate]

[She's not the first person to have done so, either.]

I beg your pardon, I do not have a 'squishy soft interior.' Other than in the strictly biological sense.

[Can't deny that guts are squishy. And shish-kabobable, sob I am an awful person]

Still, I suppose it has been entrusted to my care. It would be cruel not to care for it.

[weaponry]

But, Neji, you do! Underneath your gruff outside is your more caring inside! I mean, if you were really as gruff as you were on the outside, we would have never stopped for Lee at the forest of death! [ Ohhh... the memories.....

tenten has pikes for those shish kabobs ]

[screw_fate]

Our team sticks together.

[Hey, he didn't leave them when he made jounin, either.]

But that's beside the point. I don't particularly know how to care for a kitten.

[And it looks just like he did when he got turned into a cat during his first Shift in Luceti. Which is just irritating.]

[weaponry]

Of course it does Neji.

[ She then shrugs her shoulders as she becomes particularly perplexed. ] How hard can it be? You feed it, give it water, give it a place to uh, banish the impurities... [ cough cough. ] and give it some toys. It should be okay.

[screw_fate]

Most young animals require training of some sort, do they not?

[And he's never had a pet before. This is uncharted territory.]

[weaponry]

I don't think a kitten needs one. Just make sure to leave it acquainted with a litter box and reward it when it doesn't leave presents on your carpet! [ duh!!! ]

[screw_fate]

[Scuse you, he's never had a pet before. It's a legitimate concern!]

I suppose.

[weaponry]

Besides, I'm sure there are plenty of people here who have cats that you can ask.

[screw_fate]

[Sure, he'll just go ask Itachi :|]

I'll ask around, I suppose.

[weaponry]

That's the spirit! You'll find someone eventually so don't give up! [ if you ask itachi boy the things she will do to you... ]

[screw_fate]

[Yeah that would not be his first recourse.]

Eventually, yes. Until then...

[Well, he can start by finding cat litter and a litter pan at least. As for food... well, either there will be cat food, or if need be he can feed it... fish, he supposes?]

[weaponry]

Until then, filling up cat litter and giving it bacon can't be too hard... Can it? [ Yeah. That's how Tenten thinks cats work. They love bacon. ]

[screw_fate]

...Bacon?

[Are you sure about that part, Tenten? He's not.]

I was thinking fish. The shop usually has some.

[weaponry]

I thought everyone likes bacon! [ Including kittens. ]

Fish is good. Kittens love meat, you know.

[screw_fate]

I was aware of that much, at least.

[And he considers the point.]

Monks probably don't love bacon. Most of them are vegetarian, aren't they?

Sorry for the brief delay! I just had my wisdom teeth extracted!

[weaponry]

Well, the only monks we've met are ones that live boring lives. It makes sense if they don't like bacon! I think they like bacon, they're just forbidden to eat it! It's kinda like Orochimaru and Sasuke's body. He loves it, but he just can't get it. [ Neji you may either laugh or scowl or throw up a little in your mouth. ]

So how high are you? XD

[screw_fate]

[... What.]

I'm going to pretend you didn't make that comparison.

I'm not officer at all, high!

[weaponry]

Well, it made sense Neji! You opened yourself up for it!